UNPOPULAR WEDDING OPINION
Why Welcome Events Beat Post-Wedding Brunches
This might be an unpopular opinion, but hear me out. Post-wedding brunches sound great. They’re a classic. And hey, I even had one for my own wedding. But I also had a welcome event and for me, that was a game-changer for the wedding weekend. If you can handle both in terms of logistics and budget, I say go for it! But if you’re on the fence for one additional event, I say go with the pre-wedding event. In this post, we’ll go through the post-wedding brunch, the classic sendoff for the married couple, and then get into the reality of the morning after. Let’s break it down.
in theory
Why we love the idea of a post-wedding brunch.
A post-wedding brunch is classic. It’s the one last moment together before everyone heads home. It’s the calmer way to say goodbye to all your guests, since on the wedding night most guests heading out early don’t want to bother you while you are dancing your A** off on the dance floor. It’s also a traditional way to say thank you to your guests. And let’s be honest, it’s a solid excuse to feed everyone after a night of celebrating (hello hangover carbs).
It’s a great ending to a wonderful weekend. But if the logistics or budget don’t work for you, I’m here to let you know that it’s ok.
in practice
The reality of the morning after.
Here’s where reality hits.
Hangovers happen.
It happens to the best of us. And honestly, that’s not a bad thing, it usually means the wedding was fun and people truly enjoyed themselves. One more cocktail, one more shot, one more glass of wine because you’re in France, you should be drinking the French wine! But sometimes too much fun means your guests (or even you!) would prefer sleeping in a few more hours instead of a noon brunch call time.
Early flights & travel schedules.
Most post-wedding brunches happen on Sundays. And most people work on Mondays. Flights are limited, trains run on specific schedules, and not everyone can accommodate to stay late just for brunch, especially when brunch isn’t at 10 a.m., but closer to noon after a very late night.
Emotional exhaustion.
Weddings are intense. Happy, beautiful, unforgettable, but intense. By the next morning, many guests are simply tapped out.
Don’t believe me? Keep scrolling.
in reality
Let's look at some numbers.
To put this into perspective, let’s take a look at the actual numbers from my own wedding. 97% of our guests who RSVP’d “Yes” also confirmed their presence to the post-wedding brunch.
In reality, only 81% actually showed up. That’s almost one in five guests didn’t show up. Some texted to apologize, others didn’t. Some were too hungover, some had last-minute travel changes, and yes – someone even had a flat tire. A few brave souls messaged saying they were very hungover but pushed through and came toward the end. Hopefully the delicious food helped!
Now here’s the contrast. For our welcome event, 100% of the guests who RSVP’d showed up. Every single one. That’s the difference between “We’ll see you at brunch!” optimism… and reality.
And here’s the other part, you already paid for the no-show guests. Whether it’s per-person pricing, food minimums, or staffing, no-shows still cost you. From a budget standpoint alone, we got far more value – and far more presence – from the welcome event than the brunch. And that’s speaking both from my experience as a bride and as a wedding guest.
Final thoughts.
At the end of the day, there’s no right or wrong choice – only what works best for you, your guests, and your wedding weekend. Post-wedding brunches can be a lovely tradition and a meaningful send-off, but they’re not always the moment everyone imagines. If your budget and logistics allow for both, it’s wonderful. But if you’re debating one extra event, I truly believe your time, energy, and budget are better spent bringing people together before the big day.
This was the part I didn’t expect. I was quite nervous going into our wedding weekend to make sure everything was perfect. There was so much still to do – final payments, last emails to vendors, tiny details that felt suddenly very big.
I remember feeling almost too nervous to enjoy the welcome event at first. But the moment it started, something shifted. Seeing everyone together, laughing, hugging, and reconnecting allowed me to finally let go of wedding planning mode and enter the let’s-freaking-enjoy every-minute-of-this-weekend mode.
That night also gave me confidence. I woke up on my wedding day more calm, more relaxed, and far less stressed than I ever thought I’d be. And if you know me, that says a lot as I’m naturally an anxious person.
LEARN MORE ABOUT WELCOME EVENTS
Explore our 3-part series on why welcome events are worth it, how to plan one, and how to make yours truly unforgettable.